Young Mum goes off to Make Friends...

Today I went to the NCT group again. When I arrived no one else was there, which was a bit disconcerting, I wondered if it had been cancelled or something. But after about half an hour, people began to arrive. No talk about moving this time, which was encouraging. In fact I really enjoyed it, the atmosphere was very warm and it didn't feel like I was with a bunch of people I had only just met. I guess having a baby gives you a real connection to other mothers. At least I like to think that.

I was amazed at how beautiful and glamourous some of the women were. Most days I don't get it together to even brush my hair and I haven't worn make up since before J was born. But there were some women there who looked like they belonged on a magazine cover. I see these yummy mummies around everywhere, and I wish I knew their secret.

K, my not quite mother-in-law, asked me over lunch at (the very friendly, highly recommended) David's Deli (West Hampstead) how old the women at the group had been. I replied that I had definitely been the youngest, the rest I guessed were all at least in their thirties. I am nearly always the youngest mother wherever I go with J. Not surprisingly, as the average age to start having babies is I believe now 29. As I said to K, in the context of that group, it wasn't really an issue, like I said above, having a baby gives you so much in common it overcomes any age barriers.

I was surprised though, when K said that nearly 30 years ago, when she was attending her NCT group, all the women there were over 30. This surprised me because I remember my mum saying that having my older brother, at 23, her doctor had described her as an 'elderly primagravida' and she had been one of the older women on the maternity ward. I am guessing this says something perhaps about class, in that perhaps those who frequented the NCT were those women who had built up a career before having children, just as K had.

Maybe this is assumptive. It seems a shame to assume that NCT is middle class and use it as a criticism. Although I have to admit we haven't actually joined yet because we are too cheap to pay the substantial membership fee!